WWE announced on social media that a women’s battle royal would take place for the second straight year at WrestleMania, which streams live on the WWE Network on Sunday, April 7th.
So far, 13 Superstars have been announced for the match: Asuka, Carmella, Naomi, Lana, Mandy Rose, Sonya Deville, Nikki Cross, Dana Brooke, Ruby Riott, Liv Morgan, Sarah Logan, Mickie James and Zelina Vega.
At the inaugural match during the WrestleMania 34 Kickoff Show, Naomi reigned victorious. She received a trophy, which in a strange twist, vaguely resembled a diagram of the female reproductive system.
The match is once again likely to make the Kickoff Show at WrestleMania 35, which is interesting for a company promoting a women’s revolution and a women’s match as the main event.
After winning the battle royal, Naomi largely fell of the face of the (WWE) Universe. She lost in the Money in the Bank Ladder match, teamed with Asuka and lost to the Iiconics, lost a battle royal at Evolution, was the first woman eliminated for Team Smackdown at Survivor Series, lost to Asuka in a championship match, lost to Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville, lost the Royal Rumble match and was one half of the team that was first eliminated at Elimination Chamber for the new Women’s Tag Team Championships.
I’m explaining all of this to say that WWE has no investment in this match. Zero, zilch, nada. There are no stakes. It’s a way to get everyone on the card. Sadly, they’ve done the same thing with the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal.
So, why should I care about this match? Will the in-ring action be so superior that I can forget the match has no story and is completely meaningless? I don’t believe so.
The entire show is expected to last between seven and eight hours, which means you’ll need time to take care of personal things during the show, such as bathroom breaks, eating, stretching, showering and trolling Asuka fans on the internet. That means I’ll need to plan the most ideal moments to take a break.
That’s why I’m calling this match the Women’s Bathroom Battle Royal – because that’s where I’ll be while it’s taking place.
You can do better, WWE.
