Dating

Would You Hate Fuck Laura Loomer?

Written by Mike Rickard II

Welcome to my new feature, “Would You Hate Fuck…?” where I look at a despised individual and ask the age-old question discussed at social engagements everywhere, would you hate fuck them? For the unenlightened, Urban Dictionary defines “hate fuck” as:

The act of fucking a person that you despise. Such an act is typically characterized by name callingroughness, and immediate departure after the act. The girl was a loud mouthed hippie who talked shit about me at a party once, so I took her home, hate fucked her, and kicked her out.

It should go without saying that hate fucking involves consensual sex. This being the age of #MeToo, “Creepy” Joe Biden, and wrestling’s #SpeakingOut movement, it doesn’t hurt to mention this.

While I think people who believe in crisis actors can’t understand normal thinking, I am a fan of Project Veritas and raven-haired vixens.

Today’s candidate is political activist Laura Loomer. Loomer is known for a number of political hijinks that have enraged the left. Let’s see what leftie website The Daily Beast has to say about her and her current bid for a Congressional seat.

Anti-Muslim activist and fringe Trumpworld personality Laura Loomer is poised to move one step closer to the halls of Congress in two weeks—unless a little-known engineering professor can stop her.

Loomer is notorious, among other things, for chaining herself to Twitter’s front door, for being permanently booted from Uber Eats after calling for an Uber without Muslim drivers, and for calling Islam a “cancer on society.

That vacant stare and seeming ability to handle a large phallic-shaped object may turn some men on, regardless of their political views.

Today’s scenario: You meet Ms. Loomer on CrossTinder, the alt.right dating site you’ve heard about and an opportunity for a hook-up comes about. Knowing you will follow Dr. Fauci’s advice for coronapocalypse coitus in the event you get busy, it’s just a question of whether you meet up at your apartment, despite your disdain for her politics? The thought of coitus followed by a quick kick to the curb and a promise to “call you an Uber” resonates with me, but what of you, gentle reader?

Be sure to share your thoughts on this and let me know if there are any particular candidates for future columns.

About the author

Mike Rickard II

Retired bank robber and author of "Wrestling's Greatest Moments", "Laughing All the Way to the Bank Robbery, "Flunky: Pawns and Kings," and "Don't Call Me Bush Beans: The Legend of a Three-Legged Cat." Pro wrestling and hockey fan. Hired gun for several pro wrestling sites and a top 10 YouTube wrestling channel. Available in regular and extra-strength.