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Why Is Jerry Jones So Horny? #DallasCowboys

Written by austenlange

Last night Dallas Cowboys Owner and General Manager Jerry Jones was in a car accident right off of Harry Hines Boulevard in Dallas Texas around 3:30 AM this morning.

Jones was transferred to Dallas Parkland Hospital. Reports have stated that Jones suffered minor injuries and should be fine.

NOW, that’s all fine and dandy, but WHAT THE FUCK IS JERRY DOING ON HARRY HINES AT 3:30 AM?????????

For all of you people not from the DFW area you may just see this as another name of a road, well It’s just not.

I mean since a young lad I have known that if you want a hooker you go to Harry Hines. And Jones wasn’t just at Harry Hines, he was there in PRIME lady of the night hours. Jerry is a historically horny man and this downfall of his might lead to his shortcomings with the Cowboys.

Jerry has always been a lightning rod in the media but this past year he has made quite the splash fromjust being super horny.

I mean the man paid cheerleaders $2.4 million to shut them up about being assaulted, and then paid his illegitimate daughter/family over $10 million to stay away from him.

Jerry has to either get a nice bang maid or just castrate the man. He doesn’t need to be out on the streets searching for pussy when we have needs on the defensive and offensive lines.

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About the author

austenlange

One big fat hairy American winning machine. Specializes in Baseball/Football.
Giant fan of The Houston Astros, and Dallas Cowboys.