UFC

UFC 271 For Dummies

Written by Noah Gagnon

Huge UFC tonight. Sick card. Houston, Texas. Complete grindfest. It’s gonna be awesome, everyones watching, so if you don’t know what’s going on I am judging you. However, I’m here to help. Here’s a basic rundown on the main event if you’re gonna watch with people and don’t wanna sound like a complete dummy.

Israel Adesanya vs Robert Whittaker 2

This is the main event of the evening, and a rematch that fight fans have been edging over for the last three years. In the first fight Adesanya completely destroyed Whittaker, knocking him out in two rounds. Since then he’s been on a complete tare. He’s beaten guys like Yoel Romero and Marvin Vetorri, grown to be one of the sports biggest stars, and even had sex with Paulo Costa in the cage.

Israel’s probably the best striker in the UFC, and is gonna try to use his length and power to keep the fight standing, as he’s known to be weaker on the ground. He’ll also do some cool dance moves and reference some anime shit.

Whittaker was the most unstoppable Middlweight in the world until he ran into Adesanya, and Adesanya stopped him. He’s been killing everyone since that loss though, and has made his way back up to a title shot in attempt to reclaim his title. He’s also Australian with a sick accent and even sicker biceps.

He’s a crisp boxer himself, so he’s also got a chance to outstrike Israel, but it’s certainly a tall task. I wouldn’t be surprised if he tried to get this fight to the ground, as wrestling is certainly Izzy’s weakness.

So that’s basically the best synopsis I can give you in a few paragraphs. Just recite that to a female verbatum and she’ll be in your bed within ten minutes. Maybe.

Oh yeah, and ILL BE THERE TONIGHT, so follow @scrappinmma on TikTok for the best coverage. Love you!

About the author

Noah Gagnon

19-year-old student. MMA Enthusiast. 2014 Bedminster Middle School Boys Mile Run Second Place. BJJ White Belt. Kind Guy.