As we have all heard by now, Barstool Sports President, Dave Portnoy will be squaring off against one of the best golfers in the world, Brooks Koepka. Koepka will will play left-handed against Portnoy in a charity match for $250,000.
With that said, it seems pretty obvious that Koepka will absolutely destroy Portnoy in the upcoming charitable match up. But why? Below are the Top 3 reasons why Koepka will crush Portnoy on September 7th.
- Portnoy’s Pants Are So Tight He Will Not Be Able To Derive Enough Power In His Legs To Drive The Ball More Than 100 Yards. Think I’m wrong? Look at a few of these pictures below of how tight Dave’s pants are. Odds are by the end of the 9th hole Portnoy will have an ambulance on the course cutting his pants off so his legs can get proper blood circulation.
2. This one doesn’t need to be lengthy but straight and to the point. Brooks Koepka has won four PGA majors throughout his career. Dave Portnoy eats pizza every day for a living. If this was a pizza eating contest, hands down, Portnoy would win. But challenging a PGA golfer, even if he is playing lefty, simply will not end well for Portnoy.
3. Last but not least, if by chance Portnoy’s girlfriend is on the sideline, he will be too distracted looking at her to even concentrate on his golf game. Whether it’s his short or long game, Portnoy’s mind will be elsewhere if Silvana Mojica is strutting around the course looking as hot as she always does. Never seen her before? Take a look below!