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This Spider Will Give You a Painful Erection: Awful Animal Facts

Written by Mike Rickard II

Not too long ago I covered the story about a Frenchman who got a painful erection (not to mention long-lasting one) thanks to a case of COVID. This resulted in doctors having to stick a needle in his tower of power and deflate it. Apparently, the coronavirus isn’t the only thing men have to watch out for now as there’s an awful arachnid known as the Brazilian Wandering Spider can do a number on your manhood. According to LiveScience:

In addition to intense pain and possible medical complications, the bite of a Brazilian wandering spider can deliver a long, painful erection to human males. The venom boosts nitric oxide, a chemical that increases blood flow. Several studies have looked at incorporating the venom into drugs for erectile dysfunction.

Yes, in man’s never-ending battle to keep his equipment at the ready even longer, we’re now looking at deadly spider venom. Don’t be surprised if the aforementioned coronavirus case that gave the Frenchman extended wood leads to another Viagra-type experiment. Who knows, perhaps the coronavirus was caused by Chinese scientists looking for a new Viagra? We’ve heard worse corona-conspiracies including Chinese conspiracies that Americans are dining on coronavirus corpses.

About the author

Mike Rickard II

Retired bank robber and author of "Wrestling's Greatest Moments", "Laughing All the Way to the Bank Robbery, "Flunky: Pawns and Kings," and "Don't Call Me Bush Beans: The Legend of a Three-Legged Cat." Pro wrestling and hockey fan. Hired gun for several pro wrestling sites and a top 10 YouTube wrestling channel. Available in regular and extra-strength.