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That Time I Thought Someone Was Being Killed and They Were Being Banged

Written by Mike Rickard II

Back in 2018 I had the wonderful experience of traveling to the United Kingdom to present a paper at a conference on the Frankenstein Monster (no, I wasn’t the mascot). However, my journey to the university almost turned into an episode of The First 48 when I thought I heard someone being murdered.

There I was, in the quaint town of Lincoln in the UK when I was walking to the university to present my paper. Having no sense of direction, I quickly became lost and wandered off to parts unknown. I was walking down the street minding my own business when I heard a woman screaming. I looked around and saw an open window (not only does the UK have a serious lack of air conditioners, but they don’t have screens on their windows). I heard the damsel in distress screaming. Should I rush into action? Find a police box and call 5-0 (or whatever they call the police over there)?

Turns out I didn’t need to as I finally realized the woman was screaming with delight as she was in the throes of passion. I laughed and realized my mistake. The good thing was that I didn’t call the police or go Frank Castle on anyone. Even better, a local eventually helped me find my way to the university. That’s one trip I’ll never forget and this is just one of the many crazy things that happened.

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About the author

Mike Rickard II

Retired bank robber and author of "Wrestling's Greatest Moments", "Laughing All the Way to the Bank Robbery, "Flunky: Pawns and Kings," and "Don't Call Me Bush Beans: The Legend of a Three-Legged Cat." Pro wrestling and hockey fan. Hired gun for several pro wrestling sites and a top 10 YouTube wrestling channel. Available in regular and extra-strength.