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Shawn Michaels’s Baldness Saves Him from Randy Orton’s Punt Kick

Written by Mike Rickard II

Shawn Michaels’s all-but-gone hair appears to have saved him from Randy Orton’s punt kick. The August 17, 2020 edition of RAW saw the painfully predictable angle where Randy Orton punt-kicked WWE Hall of Famer Shawn Michaels in the head. While other wrestlers have been stretchered out and/or have last rites performed on them, “The Hairbegone Kid” seems to have avoided the same effects as others such as WWE Legends Edge, Christian, Ric Flair, and the Big Show.

Michaels, whose once famously flowing follicles once bewitched female fans and made bald fans jealous is now sporting a look more to Jasper from The Simpsons than wrestling’s “Sexy Boy.”

In this case however, Michaels’s lack of hair may have saved himself from serious injury as a close examination of Orton’s punt kick shows he did not get full contact with HBK’s head. I showed footage to two grad students at MIT and they believe a combination of the light shining off Michaels’s head and his smooth chrome dome proved a double whammy for Orton, preventing “The Legend Killer” from completely dispatching with Michaels. I asked the two grad students why the Big Show didn’t benefit from his big fat bald head and the two eggheads had an answer, pointing out that even though Show’s skull may have reflected light back at Orton, “The World’s Largest Athlete’s” head is so big that even legendarily awful kicker Bob Timberlake could have nailed a 50-yarder.

Like many men who find their hair loss to be a harrowing experience, Michaels can find comfort in the fact it likely saved his WWE career (should he decide to come out of retirement one more time). However, will Randy Orton learn from his errors and target Legends who are not follicly challenged?

About the author

Mike Rickard II

Retired bank robber and author of "Wrestling's Greatest Moments", "Laughing All the Way to the Bank Robbery, "Flunky: Pawns and Kings," and "Don't Call Me Bush Beans: The Legend of a Three-Legged Cat." Pro wrestling and hockey fan. Hired gun for several pro wrestling sites and a top 10 YouTube wrestling channel. Available in regular and extra-strength.