Rutgers Football is BACK

Written by Noah Gagnon

LETS GOOOOOOOOO!!!! For the first time since 2014, the Rutgers Scarlet Knights are 2-0. They just dogged Syracuse 17-7 today, and are gonna absolutely slaughter Delaware next week to advance to 3-0. As a lifelong New Jerseyan, this team has been abysmal for as long as I can remember, so the impressiveness of going into a packed Courier dome and dominating Syracuse cannot be understated. Here’s some things I LOVED about the game.

Greg Schiano

I don’t even play football (no need for that statement) and I would go to freaking war for this man. I’ve never seen a coach stand up for his guys the way that Schiano did out there today. The refs made a mistake, forcing him to call a timeout, and Greg cursed them out for what seemed to be 25 minutes. I literally think he insulted everything the ref has ever done, both professionally and personally. I wouldn’t be shocked if the words “you’re mother’s a whore” came out of Schiano’s mouth during the exchange. And the best part is, about five minutes after the exchange, the Syracuse coach spoke up one time, got immediately flagged for 15 yards, which set up a Rutgers touchdown. It really seemed like the ref was playing out some sub-dom fetish with Schiano, and was getting off on getting reamed out. It was awesome.

Adam Korsak

Who is Adam Korsak? The punter. The punter, he is. Oh haha, of course Rutgers has the best punter because they suck hahaha. Shut up. Everyone’s made that joke, we don’t suck anymore, and Korsack is gonna be the reason Rutgers is in every single game this year. Seriously, the guy should go in the first few rounds of the draft next year. He’s an Australian, and he’s got a freaking atomic bomb on his foot. No matter where he’s punting from, the other team’s not starting with the ball anywhere beyond their own 30. He’s the best punter I’ve ever seen. I’m pretty sure Schiano threatens to rip up his green card if he doesn’t pin the ball inside of the 20, because there’s no way he’s just that automatic.

Oh yeah, and we have a better record than Ohio State, so that’s fun. And to get serious for a second, this game really made me realize the importance of sports on my life. I despise Rutgers as an institution, but that’s for another blog. So, the fact that the football program actually provides me with some optimism is remarkably important to my mental health. If I see Greg Schiano walking down the disgusting streets of New Brunswick tonight, there’s nothing stopping me from giving him a smack on the ass, a lip of Skoal, and a big fat thank you. CHOP.

About the author

Noah Gagnon

19-year-old student. MMA Enthusiast. 2014 Bedminster Middle School Boys Mile Run Second Place. BJJ White Belt. Kind Guy.