Rutgers Can Step on Penn State’s Throat Tomorrow

Written by Noah Gagnon

Rutgers football’s truly in that sweet spot in which they can win some games, but because of their historical shittiness, its still brutally embarrassing to lose to them. Thats why the panic alarm was sounded on Michigan State after the first game, and why Michigan fans went ballistic when we took them to 3OT.

Now, a little bit of Rutgers Trivia: Penn State is technically our biggest rival. We play them every year in Rivalry Week, they’re only a three hour drive from the Rutgers campus, and chants of “Fuck Penn State” can quite frequently be heard around the university. The term rivaly is a bit of a stretch here, as the Knights haven’t won a football contest against Penn State since ’88, (1-30 all time) but I really think that changes on Saturday.

Penn State has played like a pile of flaming dog cum this year, and Rutgers is building some real solid momentum within the program. While Penn State’s gonna come out with the enthusiasm of a Paul Bearer (because they always do against Rutgers) the Knights are gonna come out like they’re playing in the damn super bowl this week. Coming off a statement win, with a chance to beat their rival for just the second time ever, you’ll see a team that already plays extremely hard at peak motivation.

Plus, tell me how they lose in these drippy blacks.

Oh, and just a warning to all Penn State fans, all of the Jersey trash Rutgers people, such as myself, are gonna act like we won the Big Ten Championship if we win this game, so y’all better win.

About the author

Noah Gagnon

19-year-old student. MMA Enthusiast. 2014 Bedminster Middle School Boys Mile Run Second Place. BJJ White Belt. Kind Guy.