Oatmeal vs. Cream of Wheat | The Great Political Debate of 2021 @nhannahjones

Written by Tony

Politics have really gotten out of hand in recent years, with both sides of the aisle absolutely losing their mind on any topic that could push their political agenda. Well, today of all days I woke up to realize that we have reached our tipping point in politics, and it has reached a new level of psychosis. If you are Twitter today, and go into the trending section and search the politics tab, you will see the Tweet below:

I say this as politely as I can fathom. What kind of poor dental hygienic fuck from the useless fly over states do you have to be to eat “cream of wheat”!?! The pick is clearly god damn oatmeal, and anyone who says otherwise is a complete moron. First of all, I couldn’t think of a more unappetizing thing to say than ask for a bowl of “cream of wheat”. Yuck city.

I’m flabbergasted that this is even a debate, and frankly I am a little grief stricken to see how far the divide in politics has grown in this country. Imagine raising a child, seeing them come from your womb, and then one day they ask for “cream of wheat” for breakfast? I would launch that kid into the sun via a SpaceX rocket, or at the very least turn him into the FBI before he does something sadistic. Goodness gracious.

Listen, to all of the “CofW” crowd, go back to getting pegged by your sister, and leave the culinary expertise to the people who advanced past 8th grade. Please and thank you. Oatmeal gang stand up!

P.S. They are both fucking disgusting. Go have some self respect and get some eggs benedict.

PSS. Don’t even get me started on the porridge folk, what are you a fucking bear? Piss off.

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