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New Year’s Resolutions for Boston Sports

Written by tRy25

It’s been a dark stretch here in Massachusetts. It’s been 10 months since our last championship, an unacceptable drought in this part of the country.

Ok, sorry. Now that that’s out of the way, what would you like to see Boston sports teams improve on heading into the new decade? I have a few ideas, some more drastic than others.

Boston Bruins: Game 7’s/elimination games at home

For the love of god, stop losing game 7’s at home. As a matter of fact, stop losing elimination games at home. We’ve had 8 playoff runs since 2010, SEVEN have ended on home ice. Take a look at this

2010 – Lose game 7 to Flyers

2012 – Lose game 7 to Capitals

2013 – Lose game 6 to Blackhawks

2014 – Lose game 7 to Canadiens

2017 – Lose game 6 to Senators

2018 – Lose game 5 to Lightning

2019 – Lose game 7 Blues

I mean, good Lord fellas. Protect home ice one time for me huh? The one time they actually did, 2011, we brought home a big, shiny trophy. You work so hard all season to set yourself up to play big postseason games at home, at least make the juice worth the squeeze.

Boston Celtics – Fireworks

Fireworks are dumb. I can take them or leave them on the 4th of July. Personally, I think if you’ve seen one firework show, you’ve seen them all, but I digress.

I’m not talking about those fireworks though. I’m talking about Danny Ainge and Celtics owner Wyc Grousbeck promising us “fireworks” in reference to the draft, the trade deadline, and free agency since the break up of the Big Three. How many times did we hear the Celtics are getting Kevin Love, DeMarcus Cousins, Kawhi Leonard, Carmelo Anthony, Blake Griffin, Anthony Davis, Jimmy Butler, Kevin Durant, Paul George, and more failed winning lottery ping pong balls than I can count? No, shockingly, I did not just copy and past the starting lineups from All-Star games of yesteryear.

Those were all names the Celtics told us they were realistically in on. Notice a common theme with them? None of them ever put on a Celtics jersey. Year after year, deadline after deadline, we were told “expect fireworks”. We rarely got them.

Now, the C’s front office did eventually deliver Al Horford, Gordon Hayward, and Kyrie Irving, while also drafting Jaylen Brown and Jayson Tatum number 3 overall in their respective drafts. All I ask is for them to never use the F-word ever again. My heart and head can’t take it anymore.

Boston Red Sox – Transparency

As much as I love this franchise, they’re like the emotionally abusive ex you simply can’t leave. They’re telling you one thing to your face while doing the exact opposite to your back. They’re messing around on you then breaking up with you for smiling at the barista and blasting you on social media. They’re asking you for a diamond necklace every single Christmas and giving you an all inclusive trip one year, and ink cartridges for your printer the next year.

All I ask for is a little transparency. I don’t need to know everything that’s going on. I understand there’s a business to be run and there’s intel you don’t want other teams having. But don’t piss in my shoes and tell me it’s raining.

Don’t tell me Terry Francona and Theo Epstein were at fault for the 2011 collapse when John Henry and Larry Lucchino were forcing signings of guys like Carl Crawford. Don’t write letters to fans talking about the “cheerful Cody Ross” or “friendly Mike Avillas” trying their best when the team is in the middle of a 69-93 season. DON’T TELL ME YOU’RE PLANNING ON RETAINING MOOKIE BETTS WHILE ALSO CUTTING PAYROLL! If it’s gonna be a rough season, so be it. But Jesus Christ, for the price Red Sox fans pay to see our team play, stop treating us like a bunch of stupid assholes.

New England Patriots – ?????

There’s not much to complain about when it comes to the team. They’ve been in the AFCCG every year since 2011. They’ve won 3 Super Bowls and been to 5. They’ve given us the best coach, best QB, best TE, and the greatest single game comeback in sports history in Super Bowl LI.

I suppose I’ll throw this one on the media. Just give it a rest guys. Tom Brady is the best there ever was and ever will be. Tom and Bill don’t hate each other. The sky is not falling. Deflategate was a ruse. Spygate II doesn’t even deserve that title. Stop referencing Aaron Hernandez when the team’s integrity is in question (the same team that released him immediately and spent a quarter of a million dollars replacing his jersey with new ones for fans). Bob Kraft likes to get some honey on his stinger sometimes, who among us doesn’t? Every year, sometimes every week, it’s something new. Wes Welker is irreplaceable, Josh Daniels is leaving, the defense is going to stink without Brian Flores/Matt Patricia, they should’ve paid Darrell Revis, why are we trading Jamie Collins/Chandler Jones?, don’t trade up to draft a tight end out of Arizona who’s barely played in 3 years. The list goes on and on and yet the methylamine keeps flowing. The show goes on. So for the love of God, give it a rest.

And last but not least….

The Revolution/Boston Cannons

Couldn’t name you a single dude up there. Idk guys, try to be relevant.

Follow me on Twitter @T_Ry25_

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