Yeah boys just found that out last night. I’m conflicted, I don’t think I want her back I wasn’t really communicating with her. The dude she is with was a “friend” even though he has always been sneaky and shady. Now our relationship wasn’t the greatest but our friendship was a bond that was amazing. We have some deep dark secrets about our lives we never told anyone. The lust was amazing and the first part of the relationship was too. Then that faded and I still loves her, we just didn’t share interest and there were mental health issues on both sides.

I guess I’m writing this not to hurt her but to express, who fucking does that to a guy that was your boy for over 5 years. That’s a scum bag move on both parts and karma will get them both. I’m not a flawless person but I work hard to try to be the best version of myself. That’s truly a complete scummer move. Again I don’t think I wanted her back but this just pissed me off. I’m the one she comes and talks to because she has no one in her life that listened to her and gave her advice. Yeah before my anxiety ramped up it was bliss, but I got on Xanax for my anxiety and I changed and it sucks because I wasn’t myself. I was blah, irritable, no sex drive. It was bad but I was still always the person she cane to with her shit. Even now she told me and I guess they hit a rocky point with whatever they are, she cane to me and I tried to help her. Does that make me a complete fucking wet blanket or just a genuinely good guy?

I know this isn’t really a blog as it is a rant of a person who is scorned but also has the closure he needs. I love the girl and will always love her, she says she never did and I don’t think that’s possible because while I wasn’t there for some big things I was there to help her with other big problems. I guess I just feel like I don’t want her to think it was a waste of two years just a lesson for both of us. I now know what I deserve and what I want. And the dude fucking her now, good luck, I’ll always think of you as a snake in the grass and a piece of shit but also you were cool to me before that so it is what it is. I can feel the emotions and anxiety’s pouring out of me while writing this, it’s like a therapy session. Sorry for the horrible grammar and spelling I just needed this out. So idk what to feel or do just keep on keeping on because my karma is good. I want revenge but I also don’t. Heartbreak sucks but builds. Anyways rant over.

Ladies I’m single, sex drive through the roof again and I’m just a great guy. I’m not looking I just hope you find me.

The writing of a broken man putting the pieces back brick by brick. But the comeback will be better then the original.

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