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McConnell and Pelosi Palaces Vandalized

Written by Mike Rickard II

Looks like I’m not the only person who is upset with Mitch “Skinflint” McConnell’s refusal to approve $2000 stimulus checks for needy Americans. The Associated Press is reporting that vandals struck at the palatial estates of Speaker of the House of Representatives Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell:

Vandals lashed out at the leaders of the U.S. House and Senate over the holiday weekend, blighting their homes with graffiti and in one case a pig’s head as Congress failed to approve an increase in the amount of money being sent to individuals to help cope with the coronavirus pandemic.

Spray paint on Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell’s door in Kentucky on Saturday read, “WERES MY MONEY.” “MITCH KILLS THE POOR” was scrawled over a window. A profanity directed at the Republican senator was painted under the mailbox.

One or more vandals struck Pelosi’s San Francisco home, with San Francisco’s ABC affiliate reporting:

The graffiti was found on the garage door of Pelosi’s home overnight with the phrases “$2K”, “Cancel rent!” and “We want everything.” …The vandals also left fake blood and what appears to be a pig head outside the House Speaker’s San Francisco home.

It’s puzzling why Pelosi’s home was targeted since the House of Representatives approved the $2000 stimulus payments, only for the Senate’s Mitch “The Bitch” McConnell to nix the idea. While no suspects have been named, the “We want everything” line is a potential clue that the vandal(s) is a leftist (or a clever right-winger). Unfortunately, the poor spelling opens the door for anyone from the public school system as most people can no longer spell without Grammarly. Perhaps this is a late receipt for Congress’ bungling of the coronapocalypse?

Artist’s rendition of Mitch McConnell

As for Mitch, he’s again shown he can’t understand normal thinking (in fact he’s a frontrunner for the 2021 “Can’t Understand Normal Thinking” Award) as he’s ruling out any chance of a $2,000 stimulus. Here’s what Miserly McConnell had to say, with ABC News reporting:

“We just approved almost a trillion dollars in aid a few days ago,” McConnell said, referring to the year-end package Trump signed into law.

McConnell added, “if specific, struggling households still need more help,” the Senate will consider “smart targeted aid. Not another firehose of borrowed money.”

The 78-year-old McConnell was taken aback by the vandalism of his home and released a statement:

“I’ve spent my career fighting for the First Amendment and defending peaceful protest. I appreciate every Kentuckian who has engaged in the democratic process whether they agree with me or not. This is different. Vandalism and the politics of fear have no place in our society. We just hope our neighbors in Louisville aren’t too inconvenienced by this radical tantrum.”

Radical tantrum or a reflection of a growing discontent with politicians’ indifference to citizens’ plight as the government mismanages its handling of the pandemic then tells people to fend for themselves while they live off our tax dollars. Considering the $2000 is coming from Americans’ pockets, it’s time for Uncle Sam to help us out. We’re paying it back, not Mitch.

McConnell should count himself fortunate that no one has flogged him for his callous cruelty to those in need. So far, skimpy stimulus checks have provoked painting. Pray it doesn’t get any worse.

About the author

Mike Rickard II

Retired bank robber and author of "Wrestling's Greatest Moments", "Laughing All the Way to the Bank Robbery, "Flunky: Pawns and Kings," and "Don't Call Me Bush Beans: The Legend of a Three-Legged Cat." Pro wrestling and hockey fan. Hired gun for several pro wrestling sites and a top 10 YouTube wrestling channel. Available in regular and extra-strength.