Mark Few is the Drunkest Man Alive

How’s this for news you didn’t think you’d hear today, Gonzaga men’s basketball coach Mark Few got popped for a DUI today. Guy blew a .120 in Idaho. Idaho! I didn’t even know they had people there, let alone alcohol. Guess Marky’s still taking that national championship loss pretty hard, eh?

Mark Few too many, heyoooooo! Not to make light of the situation, but there’s definitely a chance that this helps recruiting, right? Look, it might make the pitches to mom and dad a little harder, but when you’re trying to convince some LA hot shot basketball star to ship off to Spokane, Washington, this really isn’t the worst thing in the world. Yeah you’re gonna be in America’s shittiest shitty for the next four years, but at least the coach knows how to have a good time, you know?

Oh, and anyone thinking that Mark Few’s gonna get fired for this is on the most potent of crack-cocaine. This guy’s not going anywhere. He took freaking GONZAGA and turned them into a powerhouse. They wouldn’t be a step above Pepperdine if it weren’t for him, he’s not going anywhere. The guy could go on a serial murdering spree and the Zags would still have a hard time kicking him to the curb, a DUI isn’t changing anything.

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About the author

Noah Gagnon

19-year-old student. MMA Enthusiast. 2014 Bedminster Middle School Boys Mile Run Second Place. BJJ White Belt. Kind Guy.

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