It’s Kevin Durant’s Birthday

Written by Noah Gagnon

Today, my savior Kevin Wayne Durant turns 33. That marks 33 years to the day when this world became one worth living in. This is a guy who’s 7’4, handles the ball like a guard, shoots like a splash brother, and defends like a linebacker. If you don’t wanna wish that guy a happy birthday, the problem is you.

I’ve really thought it over, and I don’t think there’s one thing that KD could ask me to get him for his birthday that I’d say no to. You want a kidney? All yours. Lobster freshly caught from the Mediterranean sea? Get me on a god damn boat. A verbal history of the UFC lightweight division, and how we’re still feeling the lingering effects of his bout with Mayweather? Well that one’s just right up my alley. I would do ANYTHING for this man. Literally anything, and he hasn’t even won me a championship yet.

So how do you think he’s celebrating? He’s been known to have a soft spot for ladies in the adult film industry, so we can only hope he’s gonna find himself on the right side of a bed with a professional if you know what I’m saying. Or he might just fire off a few sarcastic tweets and call it a night. 33 years can mellow a man.

About the author

Noah Gagnon

19-year-old student. MMA Enthusiast. 2014 Bedminster Middle School Boys Mile Run Second Place. BJJ White Belt. Kind Guy.