MMA

It is a Horrible Week to be Brian Kelleher

Written by Noah Gagnon

I hate writing negatively about a fighter who’s already a +500 underdog, but man would I not want to be Brian Kelleher this week. I’m going over this week’s card, on the lookout for things I wanna see, and the Brian Kelleher vs Umar Nurmogomedov matchup really jumped off the page. But not like an “oh my god this is a great fight” excitement, more of a “this might be the last Wednesday of Brian Kelleher’s life” kinda thing.

It’s really nothing against Brian, he’s just fighting Umar Nurmagomedov. Umar Nurmagomedov. Nurmagomedov. Cousin of Khabib. These guys don’t lose. They just don’t. I’m pretty positive their brains are physically incapable of being knocked out, and they were just never taught what tapping is. It’s impossible to beat them. Fun fact: guys that last names end in “Magomedov” are 55-2 inside the Octagon, with the only two losses coming in times when both fighters’ names ended in “Magomedov.” That’s not true, but something like it probably is.

Let’s compare resumes real quick.

Umar Nurmagomedov: Won three of his lst four fights by submission within the first two rounds. 13-0. From Dagestan

Brian Kelleher: Coming off two decision victories against guys I’ve never heard of. Not from Dagestan. Not related to Khabib.

That really tells you everything you need to know, right?

Until one of these Dagestani aliens comes into a fight as a minus one million favorite and disappoints, I will not stop writing off their opponents. No disrespect to Brian, I like Brian, Brian’s a good dude, but he has no chance.

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About the author

Noah Gagnon

19-year-old student. MMA Enthusiast. 2014 Bedminster Middle School Boys Mile Run Second Place. BJJ White Belt. Kind Guy.