Hot diggity damn the big game Super Bowl (that is right, I am a fucking outlaw) is here, and the greatest national holiday in the United States is upon us. Get your wings prepped, chop up a red onion & tomato and start the mole’, because we are about to do what Americans do best and that is war monger get fat while making money!

Okay, hands up, I have some honesty that is important here, although I have never lost, I have also never played a single prop bet. However, if you understand gambling (which I certainly do fucking not) you know that beginners luck is the only sure thing. So here below, is how ole’ Tony is going to make you all a ton of money. Here are the bets I am playing today via Draft Kings Sportsbook (not a paid ad, but I do own a shit ton of shares of DKNG, so please fucking help me feed my family):
Correct Score Bets (play them all at low dollar amounts $1-$3 dollars each, huge payout)
- KC 24 / TB 17 +7500
- TB 31/ KC 28 +17,000
- TB 24 / KC 20 +22,000
- KC 27 / TB 24 +12,000
- KC 34 / TB 20 +17,000
- KC 31 / TB 17 +17,000
- KC 27 / TB 13 +22,000
- KC 35 / TB 17 +22,000
Player Bets That Are Flyers & Small Money Laid Down (choice highlighted in bold)
- Gronk, SB MVP +8,500
- Fournette “Playoff Lenny”, SB MVP +2,700
- Le’Veon Bell & Scotty Miller Parlay, “Score a TD” +4,656
- Devin White, “Player to Record First Sack” +1100
- QB, “Position of Last TD Scorer” +990
Player Bets To Open Up The Purse Strings For (choice highlighted in bold)
- Mike Evans, “Most Receiving Yards Godwins vs. Evans” +100
- Yes, “Will Tom Brady Throw a 4th Quarter TD” -115
- Cameron Brate, “1st Player to Reach 30+ Receiving Yards Gronk or Brate?” -120
- Under 46.5, “Total Yards of Longest Touchdown Scored” -130
- Over 1.5, “Total Yards of Shortest Touchdown Scored” +135
- Mike Evans, “Player to Have the Most Receiving Yards” +550
- Scotty Miller, “Score a TD” +450
- Le’Veon Bell, “Score a TD” +750
- Over 4.5, “Tyrann Mathieu Tackles & Assists” -140
- Over 1.5, “Total Interceptions” +120
- Yes, “Frank Clark to Record a Sack” +135
- Jason Pierre-Paul, “Player To Record First Sack” +650
- Wide Receiver, “Position of Last TD Scorer” +100
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