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General Smitty Wets the Sticks (4/3/19)

“It’s about honor. Tonight, is about the sticks” is what General Smitty had to say starting his almost 3-hour stream last night. Though honor was not earned, Smitty came away better streamer, gamer, and leader; let’s get into the battle log.

Round 1: First landing was at the Smitty City Hotel and loads the fuck up right away with a turret. Unfortunately, the power went to the General’s head as he was taken out shortly after knocking down the surrounding buildings. Places 74th

Round 2: Trying to cool off after that horrendous loss the in the first round, the General heads for Lazy Lagoon to plunder the pirate ship. After looting the essentials, Smitty faces on the dock and the wins. Shortly after, Smitty dies from being pumped in the back. Places 38th

Round 3: Heading for the infamous Tilted Towers Smitty has no loot and is killed while his soldier is kicking around a soccer ball. Places 80th

Round 4: The soldiers watching last night’s stream found out that the General lost his virginity in Ocean City Maryland during senior week; and the water is worse than Flint Michigan (oof). Good loot once landed at Clock Tower and we also find out that Smitty prefers hard shell over soft shell tacos (fair but can’t just have hard). Smitty is then pumped to death. Places 60th

Round 5: Lands at Clock Tower and is axed to death. Places 93rd

Round 6: Checks in at the Smitty City Hotel and assists with a kill and killed right after. Places 79th

Round 7: Clock Tower drop and axes enemy to death while taking sniping fire. Enemy brings the tower down from below and Smitty knocks that one to death as well. While drinking minis, Smitty is killed. Places 53rd

Round 8: “That’s it, we’re dropping tilted and winning this round” Gets good loot while in Tilted, Smitty doesn’t worry about the storm, the storm worries about Smitty. Triple bombs an enemy back to Amsterdam. The General is then backed into a corner and is killed. Places 30th

Round 9: “I don’t camp, I aggressively conquer” is what the General told one of his dishonorable soldiers watching his stream. “I’m not trash, I’m Treasure” is also what he said to another soldier. Seems lie the General needs to get his army in check. Lands at Clock Tower and is killed right away. Places 93rd

Round 10: “I’m not gonna quit, but Fortnite might quit me” Smitty now tries to land at Clock Tower again, but this time with two enemies and has no chance at survival. Places 94th

Round 11: Smitty once landed at his hotel, has an absolute drippin loot. Drops 4+ minis for 1 slurp though… hides in a bush right outside Tilted and goes to the bathroom. Finally, Smitty after losing in a build battle/ weapon switch malfunction, dies. Places 4th

Round 12: Now joined with Mantis Smitty is gonna play squads, but he leaves the lobby because Mantis prefers the Cincinnati Reds over the Flyers.

Round 13: Smitty heads to the penthouse of Trump Tower and is pumped multiple times. Places 73rd

Round 14: rejoined with Mantis this time, the squad heads to Tilted for their first actual squads’ round. Once there Smitty is able to get a kill, but then multiple enemies from all angles close in and the squad is eliminated. Places 14th

Round 15: Lands at the Hotel again, and eventually has to warp to Fatal Fields because of the storm. Smitty is the lone survivor as Mantis and rest of the squad is killed. Smitty now applies a bush for cover in tilted Towers. Smitty is then pumped in Pleasant Park and dies. Places 4th

Round 16: “I sneeze and throw my back out” I guess we can say that Smitty is OLD. Smitty takes his second bathroom break. The squads head to the Block where multiple squads meet up and they die.

Round 17: Squad is lit up shortly after landing at Tilted Towers with one kill under Smitty’s belt. Places 17th

Round 18: Landing at Smitty City with numerous enemies, squad has bad loot and is lit up again

Round 19: Back at solos, Smitty is axed at the Clock Tower, but there is also a standoff and then eventually dies there. Places 87th

Round 20: Smitty lands Clock Toer again and gets a kill. After going on a treasure hunt, Smitty has great loot and heads to Dusty Divot. Smitty launches himself into the storm thinking he is escaping. Places 13th

Round 21: Lands at Tilted Towers and dies. Places 93rd

Round 22: Last bathroom break of the night. Landing at the Snobby Shores, Smitty is killed while looting in the attic. Places 84th

Round 23: Dropped with multiple enemies, Smitty dies in his own city right after dropping.

Round 24: At the hotel again, Smitty faces off in a closet and wins, but dies right after by the new bow and arrow. Places 78th

Round 25: Retreating to the pawnshop after getting bad loot at the Clock Tower, Smitty has motor function failure and can’t walk through a doorway and is pumped. Places 63rd

Round 26: South of Haunted Hills is where the General decides to drop this time. Smitty pumps away an enemy in Pleasant Park, and eventually heads to Loot Lake and ends up right outside Dusty Divot. Places 10th

Round 27: Bad loot at the Clock Tower in the final matchup of the night. And finally gets pumped around the Pawnshop. Places 76th


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Connor McLoughlin

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