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General Smitty Wets the Sticks (3/27/19)

“Domination sensation… and a little bit castration that’s the plan for tonight and we’re sticking to it” is how our fearless General Smitty answered my question last night at the beginning of his live Fortnite Twitch stream. Unfortunately, that was not the case. Although there were some nail biters in there where Smitty placed in the top 10 in both Solo/ the new “Floor is Lava” duos mode with Dana B aka Rice Boy. Now without further to do here are my notes/ observations from the General’s 6.25 hour/ 46 round stream:

Round 1:The General starts off strong with dropping at Trump Tower at Tilted Towers, but as we find out, there was poor loot consisting of gray/ green guns. Smitty picks up a new trap that we find out is a poison dart trap. After some time passes, Smitty is able to get one kill, but ultimately dies right after and places 54th

Round 2:Smitty is “Away from keyboard” during this drop and lands at the Hot Springs which leads him to find no loot/ is killed almost immediately. Places 65th

Round 3:Back to back bad drops landing at the Pirate Camp near the volcano, Smitty enters the Baller and screws around being trapped within a cave/ fires off a “desk pop” giving away his location. After looting the volcano, Smitty has to rush to get to the eye of the storm (circle) because he was not paying attention to the storm. After finding refuge at the Pirate Camp outside Dusty Divot, Smitty has to launch himself out of a cannon because he is getting sniped on/ is able to kill that enemy. Refueled by a Chug Jug, Smitty now faces an enemy in a Baller, but ends up bailing because of the approaching storm and is killed by it. Places 14th

Round 4:Smitty claims he is not afraid of the game of Battlefield because “He is the battlefield.” Aiming to land at Polar Peak to see hordes of enemies, Smitty diverts to Frosty Flights where he gives breastfeeding advice, “It’s all about relaxation.” Getting great loot, an enemy arrives and Smitty takes him on with three sticky bombs/ shooting with direct hits through his soul he wins. What I found interesting was that Smitty applies the bush while in the snow-covered part of the map (weird flex okay). Right before Smitty ultimately dies he answers a viewer about being the best by saying, “Tough to be the best when you’re already the best.” Places 18th

Round 5:Dropping at Trump Tower again Smitty dies as soon as he lands. Places 87th

Round 6:Dropping above Dusty Divot, Smitty drops at the Paradise Palms (Smitty city) hotel and is “Done getting the sticks wet, because we’re going the distance this round” Smitty has great loot/ announces a new Philly podcast/ kind of a reboot. Smitty is killed while looting a chest. Places 26th

Round 7:The General decides to drop at the Paradise Palms (Smitty city) hotel and starts looting but takes a 1 shot pump to the chest and dies. Places 76th

Round 8:Taking his fist bathroom break since streaming, Smitty takes an angry piss. It’s a bad drop at the Clock Tower and Smitty has to shoot it down to kill the enemy that got to the top first. Smitty fails and dies. Places 85th

Round 9:The General or should is ay Captain lands at the Pirate Ship and starts looting. Smitty is killed in the brink while looting a chest. Places 61st

Round 10:Landing at the Smitty City hotel, Smitty is trapped in a room after seeing an enemy places a trap/ kills said enemy, but is then killed by said trap. Places 82nd

Round 11:Perfect drop at Clock Tower with decent loot but drops a green pump shotgun for a gray tactical (weird flex okay). Then drops said gray tactical for a blue hunting rifle (wtf)?! Smitty then rifts from the bottom cave in Tilted to one of the many mountains around it and snipes an enemy with that blue hunting rifle. Looting a treasure map, Smitty goes on a treasure hunt, but then is killed. Places 29th

Round 12:Smitty lands in an oversaturated Tilted Towers and has poor loot at Trump Tower. Places a trap underneath an AFK Banana enemy/ gets the kill. While chugging a 50 shield, Smitty is killed. Places 63rd

Round 13:Dropping at Fatal Fields Smitty runs for the stables, but the bails for the woods. Kills an enemy with a gray sub. Heads for the cabin tower near Salty Springs/ ignites fire/ plays harmonica while applying bush. Smitty then faces off against an enemy below tower/ wins. Loots a bad supply drop and is killed shortly after. Places 21st

Round 14:Dropped into the volcano for people to already be there/ gets into a snipe off while in volcano and is eventually sniped. Places 58th

Round 15:Drops at Tilted Towers and is killed after getting bad loot. Places 66th

Round 16:Smitty has a fetish for the volcano tonight as he drops there again/ he has trouble looting a chest and loses a purple sniper to the lava and dies. Places 65th

Round 17:Smitty takes a long drop to the Pirate Ship and gets great loot. Gets into a snipe off below deck/ kills the enemy with a pump/ ignites a fire and plays the harmonica. Smitty is then sniped from the crows nest and is eventually 1 pumped from an edit build.

Round 18:Smitty takes his second bathroom break, but there is a weak flow, maybe the momentum is being lost? Landing at the Viking ship there is great loot/ Smitty makes his way to the indoor pool/ soccer field and is killed in a battle he definitely should’ve won. Places 27th

Round 19:Smitty now switches to the “Floor is Lava” mode with Dana B. (Rice Boy). The duo lands at Smitty City is taken out right away.

Round 20:Since the lava rises fast the duo goes to the Clock Tower (obviously), but Smitty is the only one allowed to land at the tower. The duo takes fire north of Clock tower/ Smitty neutralizes the threat/ is killed right after. Rice Boy takes no damage.

Round 21:The Twitch stream doubles in viewers to 2400+ and is claimed to be the “Rice Boy” Effect. The duo lands naked in Smitty City. Smitty then drops 6 minis for 2 slurps/ with full shield/ health. The duo regroups/ stand staring at a rift while taking fire (uh you think you should move)? The duo starts arguing while being surrounded by lava/ they launch pad away into the lava! Smitty’s response is as followed, “I was leading us to victory!”

Round 22:The duo lands at Clock Tower again/ Rice Boy is killed instantly and Smitty fails to rescue him. Loses a build fight. Places 37th

Round 23:“We’re going to counteract the lava by going to the source. The Volcano.” Enemies arrive to volcano first/ they bail/ build giant bridge across Dusty Divot and die by lava

Round 24:“OH NANCY DREW” The duo lands at Smitty City and they have to race against the storm. Smitty is knocked by the lava and the duo dies after a Port-a-fort malfunction on top of a tree. Places 17th

Round 25:Duo lands at the Viking Ship with company and Rice Boy is fired upon while Smitty is coming to the rescue and dies by a one pump to the chest. Places 41st

Round 26:Smitty lands halfway up the Clock tower and is axed to death

Round 27:Smitty is distracted by a text while landing at Smitty city and dies. Places 22nd

Round 28:The duo gets good loot from Clock Tower/ heads to the snow mountains and dies while looting/ planning best course to get to circle. Places 23rd

Round 29:Landing at Smitty City there is fantastic loot/ Smitty picks up Boogie Bombs instead for a bunch of shields. The duo rifts away into the lava/ Rice Boy drops a port-a-fort and Smitty dies in lava. Places 4th

Round 30:Drops at Pirates already filled with lava, but there is great loot/ plans for volcano summit. Smitty is now angered by Rice Boy/ mutes him (lol). The duo is then killed by Smitty because he “accidentally” throws an impulse grenade. Places 5th

Round 31:Smitty plans to land at Smitty City, but Rice Boy landed at the Volcano so the two plans to meet at Retail Row. Smitty ignores the 50 shield when he needs it, but has a purple scar. The duo make contact with an enemy who dies by lava/ Rice Boy and Smitty dies by gliding into lava.

Round 32:Before dropping at Lucky Landing, Smitty mutes Rice Boy again for saying treasonous things. Smitty then kills Rice Boy/ denies it and then gets third partied. Places 11th

Round 33:The duo plus an enemy land at Clock Tower/ once threat is neutralized the duo argues about stealing each other’s loot. The duo is then lit up and die. Places 46th

Round 34:The duo land far way at Junk Junction/ get good loot, but also gets caught in the storm. Once out of storm the duo loot 2 LLAMAS in Pleasant Park. The duo becomes separated and then are wicked far apart from each other and Smitty dies while in the turret from the lava because he wasn’t paying attention. Places 7th

Round 35:The duo lands at the Clock Tower and Rice Boy gets knocked/ Smitty runs and hides. Places 40th

Round 36:Drops at Happy Hamlet and dies immediately

Round 37:Drops short of Smitty City and is lit up but wins battle. With no rifts/ launchpads the duo heads to Fatal fields. Smitty malfunctions and falls into lava

Round 38:Duo lands at volcano and gets lit up, but wins and ignites fire/ plays harmonica. Smitty rifts to Rice Boy. Smitty fails at editing builds. Smitty is screwing around trying to revive Rice Boy and then throws around an impulse grenade and kills them both. Places 8th

Round 39: Rice Boy goes AFK to piss/ didn’t tell Smitty which leads to him being muted again. They duo finally regroups in Fatal Fields. Smitty dies trying to revive Rice Boy/ fails. Places 20th

Round 40:Smitty kills person that landed above him at Clock Tower. Placed 23rd

Round 41:Lands far away at Smitty City with good loot/ no enemies/ applied bush cover. Rice Boy build giant bridge across Retail Row, but falls and Smitty dies trying to save him

Round 42:Good loot once landed at Volcano/ Smitty drops 6 minis for 1 port-a-fort. The duo agrees to stay at Volcano. They move to circle because Volcano is in storm. Smitty knocks down enemy with far away snipe. Smitty rifts/ kills an enemy/ then is killed right after. Places 7th

Round 43:Smitty is not sure where to land switches between Happy Hamlet/ Polar peak multiple times. Smitty uses purple machine for sniper/ then gold machine for same sniper…Smitty and Rice Boy rift multiple times/ die by storm. Places 9th

Round 44:The duo lands at Fatal Fields but takes fire/ Smitty fails to revive him

Round 45:Major loot for Smitty when he dropped at Volcano, but then goes AFK. The duo rifts south towards Smitty City but taking fire from all angles. Rice Boy now throws an impulse grenade at Smitty and the duo dies. Places 17th

Round 46: Smitty dishonorably discharges Rice Boy (now known as Fried Rice Boy). Smitty gets bad loot at Clock Tower/ is able to get 3 kills at Pawn Shop/ is sniped after suing balloons for a long time. Places 37th


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Connor McLoughlin

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