Employees Claim New CEO Consistently Pulls Penis Out 9 Steps Before Arriving at Urinal

Written by Drhiphopz

HOUSTON, TX- Anonymous sources confirmed reports that the new Chief Executive Officer of Houston based marketing firm Scion, Harold Marks is making quite the first impression at his new company.

The 68 year old, took over the helm in May 2022 after serving as the Chief Marketing Officer for over 20 years at 2040 a marketing agency considered to be a member of the “big 6” of New York marketing firms. 

“I’m excited to bring my assets to Scion and am excited to call Texas home for the rest of my life.” Marks told reporters at his introductory press conference in May. Marks plans to reinvent the company’s creative directives that experts consider “bland” in recent years. 

“I’ve already met and fired most of the creatives here. If this company is going to succeed, we’re going to have to take risks my predecessors weren’t willing to take. I plan to usher in a completely new approach to our campaigns that will get people talking. I fervently believe there is no such thing as bad publicity” Marks said in May

Marks cites the abysmal 2021 WNBA marketing campaign led by Scion as an example of the company’s wokeness and desire to not anger the twitter mob for the failure of the campaign. Marks concluded his introductory press conference with a warning to current Scion workers. “Starting today, I don’t want to see anymore of that liberal bullshit at this company. If you don’t like it, submit your resignation now.”

Harold Marks at his introductory press conference in May

In Marks official act as Scion CEO, he sent out a company wide memo mandating genderless restrooms will no longer be tolerated in the future. In the memo, Marks noted construction for seperate male and female restrooms will be finished in September 2022. Currently, Scion’s downtown Houston downtown has one large communal restroom on each floor. 

“When I started in 2017 I thought genderless restrooms was a commendable especially for as big a company as Scion. I never had any problems with anyone in the restroom. At least not until Mr. Marks became CEO” a female Scion employee said. “I’ve heard and seen things from him I wish I hadn’t” she continued.

Marks is known throughout the industry for his rugged appearance, coarse demeanor and overall lack of hygiene. An industry exec once said “If he wasn’t so damn good at his job, he would’ve been murdered 10 times over.”

“Well uhh like a week after he got here I was washing my hands when I heard the door swing. I glanced over and boom there it was.” an anonymous male Scion employee stated. “He was barely in the restroom and his penis was already exposed. I quickly looked away but yea that was intimidating to say the least.” he continued.

This seems to be becoming quite the habit for Marks. Numerous employees have had similar run-ins with Marks since May. In fact, the total number of employees who witnessed Marks unveiling his penis yards from the urinal were 13. 

“I was putting on my makeup when he came in. This was probably my third time seeing his…thing so I was used to it at this point.” One female Scion employee stated. “Then all the sudden there’s this loud boom. I thought it was a bomb and started panicking. The boom just kept going and getting louder. I’d say it was probably four seconds long? When I turned around he’s got his hand halfway up the wall and just lets out a grizzly moan. I think I can still smell it honestly. Luckily, there are a couple port-a-potties across the street ” 

While Marks has only been in Houston for a month, he is certainly leaving his mark for better or worse. Scion declined to comment for this story.

Harold Marks taking a selfie in unidentified restroom (2019)
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