Donald Trump Says He’d Knockout Joe Biden

Written by Noah Gagnon

In case you haven’t heard, Donald Trump is gonna be doing commentary for this Saturday’s boxing match between Vitor Belfort and Evander Holifield. So, at the event’s presser this morning, the guys over at Triller had DT call in to discuss the card, as well as ask him a few personal questions. Check it out.

Can you believe the world we’re living in? The former president just said he’d knock out the current president in one round! How can you not love that? The dumb hacky joke I always make is “oH wHaT if TrUmP and BiDeN bOxEd?” But now Donald is actually entertaining it! Not only is he entertaining it, but he’s also talking shit like he’s freaking Pretty Boy Floyd!

Can we just make this happen? Can we PLEASE make it happen?! Imagine those old bags actually getting into their boxing shorts and trying to go few rounds against each other. It would be awesome! Trump’s titties would be bouncing everywhere, Biden’s dentures would fly out of his mouth a minute into the fight, and it would honestly just end up being a deathmatch. Neither one of these elderly dunce’s has the physical stamina to survive a boxing match, so it would probably start as a fight, and then end in the inauguration of Kamala Harris.

It would be like the second round, and the lights would cut out, and whatever the hell Kamala Harris likes to listen to would start blaring through the speakers. She’d run out of the tunnel, head kick Donald, boom, he’s done for. The crowd goes crazy, they think she’s come to save Biden, but no, heel turn incoming. She gets on the ropes, peoples elbow’s Biden, now he’s a goner too. Next thing you know she’s the 47th president all because Donald Trump wanted to announce a Vitor Belfort fight.

I know this kinda transcended into a WWE-type thing instead of boxing, but you get the point. We’re talking about a potential Trump/Biden boxing match, so let’s not get caught up in the specifics.

About the author

Noah Gagnon

19-year-old student. MMA Enthusiast. 2014 Bedminster Middle School Boys Mile Run Second Place. BJJ White Belt. Kind Guy.