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Does Lil Uzi Vert Have Super Powers Now?

Written by Noah Gagnon

Soooooo uzi spent $24 Million getting a diamond planted on his forehead. Wild shit. Good for him for having 24 big ones to just throw around like that, but wow do I have a lot of questions. Look at this dude.

What’s that diamond gonna do for him? Can he use the force now? Levitate? Time travel? Read minds? Is he just gonna be zenned out as fuck at all times? And there’s no way that’s comfortable. What happens when he’s trying to doze off at night and there’s a $24 million dollar diamond just poking through his fucking forehead? Dude’s gotta get headaches like crazy.

Kyrie Irving has gotta be so jealous of Uzi. You know Kai fantasizes about running up and down the basketball court with some fucking Sioux healing stone poking out of his face. Shit, he hits another dagger in game seven I say he should go for it. I might even look into getting one myself.

About the author

Noah Gagnon

19-year-old student. MMA Enthusiast. 2014 Bedminster Middle School Boys Mile Run Second Place. BJJ White Belt. Kind Guy.