Don’t get me wrong, I love college football. Huge fan, watch every Saturday. But, I don’t know, something about the Heisman just doesn’t do it for me. It’s gonna go to a guy who’s gotta a 50-50 shot to make noise in the league, defensive players have no shot at winning, and the presentation is just such a freaking bore. I’d rather sit through an astro physics lecture than the Heisman presentation.

Does it have to take an hour? Do we need to hear from every asshole who’s ever won the Heisman? I don’t know who half of these people are! You know how we should find out who won? A tweet. A singular tweet. An @Heisman twitter account should be created, and they tweet once a year to announce the winner. That’s it.

The pose is sick tho. I love that thing. Do it right now, you’ll feel powerful. I’m gonna start doing it in my every day life just to establish dominance.


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