As a person who consumes large amounts of media, I often find myself wanting to punch certain celebrities in the face, these are my top 5.

(A quick disclaimer, this is not a threat)

1.) Dak Prescott; I just hate his face. So annoying to look at. Also, FUCK the Cowboys. He looks like how Fritos smell. Dak’s head has no distinction from his neck, he looks like a thumb thumb from the beloved early 2000’s movie series “spy kids”. I would love to watch him get punched in the face during a Monday night football game.

2.) Chris Brown; looks like a hyena with a domestic abuse problem. I would pay so much money to watch a boxing match where he is tied down, and Rihanna just beats the crap out of him.

3.)Jason Sudeikis; I just hate his face and he isn’t funny. I want to hit him myself.

4.) Stephen A. Smith; the most annoying sports media personality to ever exist, hearing his takes on football makes my want to rip off my ears and rib salt in my ear wound. Smith is such an idiot, words cannot express how stupid he is. also he’s ugly as fuck.

5.) Jimmy Kimmel; he’s just not funny. He makes guests feel uncomfortable. He is just so punchable.

Honorable Mentions who didn’t make the list for one reason or another: Steven hawking(dead), Greta Thunberg(too political), Mark Gruffalo(too beloved), Jeb Bush(political), Trevor Noah(just lame)… and it goes on.

Yes, I am a Skinny white guy behind a keyboard who can’t fight, but I hate who I hate, and that just happens to be 90% of celebrities.

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