Barstool’s Top 5 Hotties!!!! Exclusive Pics!!!

Hahaha you horny dumb bastards. You thought you were seeing the lovely striking women of barstool. Hahaha. Little sexiest there boys. Here’s the top 5 hotties.

5. Brandon Walker:

Talk about a tall drink of vanilla pudding. Look at this 6’5 270lb dream boat. I mean how could you not have him on your top 5 hotties, aged like an open carton milk.

4. Jeff D Lowe:

Now maybe an awkward position for Jeff. Look beyond the obvious need that lies within and just look. He is the hot nerdy guy in the movies now. He pulls nerd sheik off and his hair is always on point ladies.

3. Handsome Hank:

I mean it’s in his name, it is what it is ask aria about the rest. DUH

2. Feitelberg:

Former hockey player and FSU bro!! This is what all the ladies are looking for a self deprecating ginger with a mustache who throws up almost on a daily occurrence. Almost hit the pinnacle of the top 5, maybe next year Fiets.

1. Jared “The Rocket” Carrabis:

Standing at 5’7 and having sick tattoos is just the start. The reason why the rocket is number 1, the confidence. I mean did you hear about his no hitter? Or perfect game or whatever it was 15 years ago? He carries that swagger in everyday life. And ladies with a nickname like “the rocket” who wouldn’t want a ride? Am I right? Huh? No way he is ever a douche.