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Banning Leaf Blowers: Why the Coronapocalypse Isn’t All Bad.

Another Glimmer of Hope in the Coronapoclypse The mass lay-offs, deaths, and endless preemptions of The Price is Right have deeply affected Americans, but thankfully, there have been a few benefits from the coronapocalypse. Not too long ago, we looked at the rise (no pun intended) in coronapocalypse coitus, and now there’s some more good news, the banning of leaf blowers in several states. According to a recent news report:

Cities, towns and villages in New York, New Jersey and elsewhere in the country have created bans or sought voluntary cuts in the use of leaf blowers in suburban neighborhoods. Town leaders noted that with everyone sheltering in home, the constant din was an added nuisance.

Don’t let this woman’s looks fool you. She’s burnt down houses for less than people complaining about her leaf blower.

The Leaf Blower: A Tool for Good and for Evil The leaf blower presents a dilemma for me as a red-blooded American. On one hand, there’s the sheer American audacity of looking at your neighbor breaking his back using a rake like some sort of Cro-Magnon while you effortlessly flip a switch and blow your leaves onto their lawn. However, like most technology, there’s always a dark side. No, I’m not talking about those Sissy Mary Crybabies who lament how the leaf blower harms the environment with its combustion engine or how it blows fecal matter through the air (better through the air than on my lawn). I’m talking about the noise the damn things make. Like any good neighbor, it doesn’t bother me when I use the leaf blower, but when my neighbors use it, the noise level is like going to a Who concert or going to a Dakota Access Pipeline protest. As far as I’m concerned, the neighbor might as well be using a sonic cannon to clean the leaves (although now that I think about it, maybe I’ll get one for the next time they have a bounce-house party).

Time for an all-nighter

My apologies as I’ve been social distancing for too long. As I was saying, we may see a bonus from the coronapocalypse as long as leaf blowers are banned. At least I’ll be able to sleep in after an all-nighter of Fortnite, heavy drinking, or both.

It’s difficult to sleep when your neighbor has a leaf blower going. It can be done, but only by the real professionals.

Silence is Golden That’s not the only benefit. Like any good entrepreneur, landscaping companies are getting in on the spirit of keeping things quiet. According to this report:

In Croton-on-Hudson, Michael Anzalone, the owner Greenleaf Landscaping, said he welcomed the ban.

“You can rake or prune,” he said, but acknowledged both would pass higher costs to his customers. “When you’re doing a cleanup on a large property and you’re charging by the manpower and you’re telling the client that we’re raking your lawn, it’s a huge cost increase,” he said.

I admire this gent’s go-getting attitude and willingness to make a few bucks keeping things quiet while he and his crew get to landscaping.

The leaf blower has an incredible history that epitomizes everything good and alas, everything bad about America.

The Incredible Origin of the Leaf Blower On a side note, what about this tremendous American invention, the leaf blower? According to the always-reliable Wikipedia, “The origin of the leaf blower originated in 1947 as a backpack fogger apparatus, invented by Japanese-based Kyoritsu Noki Company.” The equally-reliable Quora has several answers for where the leaf blower came from, with the consensus being it was originally used as a chemical sprayer. Remember, Pro Sports Extra is a place where you can see scantily-clad women, get all the sports news you need, and get your learn on.

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About the author

Mike Rickard II

Retired bank robber and author of "Wrestling's Greatest Moments", "Laughing All the Way to the Bank Robbery, "Flunky: Pawns and Kings," and "Don't Call Me Bush Beans: The Legend of a Three-Legged Cat." Pro wrestling and hockey fan. Hired gun for several pro wrestling sites and a top 10 YouTube wrestling channel. Available in regular and extra-strength.

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