Avengers (of football)… Assemble… Pt 3/3

Written by Matt Chasteen

I think it is safe to say that we have all now seen Marvel’s Avengers: Endgame. If you haven’t, I feel sorry for you and your sad life. Get out from under the rock, man. While writing my last blog about missing the glory days of high school football, I was also hearing a conversation about the re-release of Endgame. Thoughts swirled, as they are known to do, and I thought, “What if Thanos had challenged The Avengers to a regulation football game at a local high school? What would that team look like?” We will cover the offense now and the defense in the next blog. And remember, this is on a high school level, some of our heroes will play both ways. So here we go…(Naturally, I’ve taken the liberty of including any hero I felt necessary from any of the 22 films. It’s. Movies. They could easily concoct a story line to bring back Quicksilver.)

Let’s take a look at the masterminds on the coaching staff.


Head Coach/GM: Nick Fury: He assembled this team. He laid the plans from the start. Always keeping one eye on the prize. And he is tired of these MOTHERFUCKIN ALIENS ON THIS MOTHERFUCKIN EARTH!!

DC: Sorcerer Supreme Doctor Stephen Strange: He guards the Sanctorum Sanctum with his life. The time stone allows him to see all the possibilities of outcomes for every play. His play calling will be unmatched. He will make names like Tom Landry, Bud Grant, and Buddy Ryan look like rank amateurs.

OC: Loki Odinson: Just sit back and imagine this offense ran by Loki. I mean really visualize it. All the trick plays that Loki the Trickster will run. Flea flickers, Statue of Liberty, hook and ladder, quadruple reverses. Anything is possible with this holographic cloning magic.

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Matt Chasteen