Avengers (of football)… Assemble… Bonus: Special Teams

Written by Matt Chasteen

I couldn’t leave this on the table without covering the unsung heroes of the Special Teams.  And for good reason…


Long Snapper: Happy Hogan: I’ll be honest, I have no legitimate reasoning behind this other than it just feels right. With Tony always keeping him upside, he seems made for this. And he has to find a way to impress Aunt May somehow.

Returner: Rocket Raccoon: I just love the irony of one of the best thrives in the universe being a “returner.” He has the small stature pretty typical of most returners. He is crafty and innovative and can create his own weapons. And if he hits the open field, he can hit the jet pack.

Punter: Vision: Again, no real reasons here but I imagine an android with control of the mind stone can just lay some BOMBS all over the place. We also know his ability to calculate is dead on. Coffin corner no matter from where he punts on the field. But let’s be real, this offense will never punt. Plus, even if they did get stopped, Nick Fury will never punt when he has the Boomstick waiting in the wings.

Kicker: Captain America Pat “The BoomStick” McAfee: The all-time leading scorer in West Virginia University, owner of the GREATEST SMALL BUSINESS IN THE WORLD, future WWE Hall of Famer , and the true heir to the mantle of the Shield, Pat brings a charisma and flair to the game that no other special teamer can. The dude is straight Electric. Fury will trust this man from anywhere on the field (including 43 yarders from the right hash.) FOR. THE. BRAND.

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Matt Chasteen