A true success story for the millions of people awaiting for everyone’s favorite Sith Lord, Addison (Yes, Addison) “Mitch” McConnell, to deliver them some gruel in the form of $600. As you wait, downtrodden and unsure of what the future holds, it is good to know that there is always hope, even for the most heinous of us. Everyone’s favorite caretaker is moving forward with an interesting new career. She seems to be going the Frank Abagnale Jr. route (much more admirable than her previous career as a Ted Bundy impersonator) and is becoming a Private Investigator!
According to the article by People, “Casey Anthony has filed paperwork to open a private investigation company in South Florida, according to reports. The business is registered to a home in West Palm Beach owned by Patrick McKenna, who was Anthony’s lead investigator for her defense team in her 2011 trial. According to state records, she does not have a Florida private investigator’s license.”
Holy fucking moly! What a spin, and what an apropos choice for the next step in her career. Who would you better want investigating than the famed woman who has been evading prosecutors better than Saddam in Iraqi dirt laden foxholes. Casey is one of the best to ever do it (and when I say “it” i mean get away with the murder of her precious 4 year old daughter and hide in plain sight), so the only way to catch someone like this, is to have someone with this unnerving experience on your manhunt team. I can’t help but wonder what her business cards are going to look like? Probably some seductive photo of herself, with some permutation of her name, and her accolades: “Casey Anthony, PI, Got Away With Murder By Sleeping With My High Powered Attorney (allegedly), 1x Hot Body Contest Award Winner.”
Unreal, we truly are the land of opportunity! Give us your tired (unless they are from a Spanish speaking country, or of Muslim faith, your poor (but not too poor, we don’t have the infrastructure for such a thing). The land of second chances, God Bless America!
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