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America Has a New First Puppy

Written by Noah Gagnon

Today Joe Biden announced that he and the Mrs. Have adopted a new dog, Commander. Kind of a sick name, not gonna lie, and definitely an absolute cutie pie, so this thing definitely passes the good boy test. Check it out.

But am I the only one that completely missed the news about the last dog? I know I could just do a quick google search and figure it out, put ill as the 14 people who are gonna read this instead. Like, I know that thing kept biting people so what did they do with the rotten little mut. Did they just like send it out to pasture? Did it get euthed?

Honeslty who cares, the thing was a complete trashbag. And I hate to insult a dog, but c’mon, it sucked. Glad it got replaced.

And not to be negative, but it kinda irks me that this thing was a rescue. Like I understand that we need to be politically correct, even when it comes to pups, but I’d rather have our countries first dog come from a breeder, not be rescued from a pile of litter under the Brooklyn Bridge. I guess it’s cute enough, so lets just keep the biting to a minimum.

About the author

Noah Gagnon

19-year-old student. MMA Enthusiast. 2014 Bedminster Middle School Boys Mile Run Second Place. BJJ White Belt. Kind Guy.