GUYS!!!!! YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHO’S GONNA BE ON THE BIG 10 NETWORK THIS SATURDAY. It’s a special guest. Nay, beyond special, it’s a generational, once in a lifetime, marquee superstar. Who could it be? Taylor Swift? Tom Brady? Lana Rhoades? Nope. It’s me, Noah Daniel Gagnon. Hell yeah.
That’s right, this face is gonna be on THE BIG 10 NETWORK. That’s basically the equivalent of being on the cover of Playboy for the midwestern hickbags who call themselves Big 10 fans.
So how’d this come about? I can go into heavy detail on the subject matter, AND I WILL. I’m walking down the street on the monotonous Rutgers University campus today and a gentleman with a clipboard and a lanyard comes up to me and asks me if I wanna film something for the BIG 10 network. I guess he saw this strapping young buck walking down the street and thought to himself, “holy shit, that kid was BORN for third-rate television channels.”
Anyways, we start filming and it turns out I’m doing a Rutgers trivia contest. Legally, I’m not allowed to spoil the results of my trivia performance, but lets just say my staggeringly high IQ has never been on display more than it was here. Or maybe it wasn’t! Maybe I said “uuhhhhhhhh I don’t know” like an illiterate cow 5+ times for an international television network. Tune in Saturday to find out!
But look, my promise to you the reader, I will not forget where I came from after this video airs. We all know once this face get’s on TV I’m gonna be getting hit up by the who’s who of Hollywood within minutes. It’s inevitable. Honestly, I give it 6 months until I’ve got a TV show of my own. But that’s not important. What’s important is the journey. Right now, I’m a humble college student, but on Saturday I become a worldwide celebrity. Don’t start asking me for autographs.
